You’re looking for English conversation practice…a conversation partner, or a conversation club maybe. BUT…you feel afraid to actually–speak! I have a surprising secret that will help you feel more confident in conversation practice–trust! Today you’ll learn why it’s the missing piece for feeling confident in conversation, and how to find it.
Today’s topic is really important to me. That’s because I’m a business English communication coach, I run my own business and lead an international team. And–I hold English conversations in groups all the time. I’ve learned over the years how important trust is. One great source of inspiration for my team of expert teachers and me is Brené Brown, a researcher on this topic. If you watch today’s video lesson, you’ll get to hear her talking about trust–with a few explanations from me.
Don’t miss my next free, interactive workshop.
You’re serious about improving your English and your business skills. And I’m serious about helping you do that. That’s why I hold workshops every month on business skills you need. Want your exclusive monthly invitation? It’s easy. Just sign up for my newsletter.
What you’ll learn in this article:
1. What is trust and why does it matter in English conversation practice?
2. Talking about trust in conversations in English.
3. What to look for in a high-trust English conversation practice.
4. Where can you find a conversation practice where you’ll feel confident?
QUIZ YOURSELF ON TODAY’S LESSON
1. What is trust and why does it matter in English conversation practice?
If you don’t have trust, you just can’t feel comfortable in conversations–and you can’t improve your English either.
One of the most inspiring people I know who talks about this topic is researcher and professor, Brené Brown. Here’s what she has to say about trust:
“Trust is really important, but talking about trust is difficult.” “It’s a big word…”
How do you know if you trust someone?
If you think about it, trust in someone–or confidence in someone (or a group) is hard to explain.
Also check out my lesson: English Expressions about Accountability & reaching your goals.
2. Talking about trust in conversations in English
To get a better idea, here’s what Brené Brown says about trust in conversations. I think you’ll be inspired–and learn some great expressions in English. Here’s what she has to say on the topic:
“What are we talking about when we talk about trust?
What are the pieces of trust that come together to make this kind of, almost, unnamable feeling that we have with people? And a lot of it is gut. But as it turns out, we can really operationalize trust.”
Actually, this is a really great chance to look at the way native speakers talk when they are talking about something hard to describe.
“What are we talking about when we talk about____?” is a great expression. You can fill in any word that is a little…abstract, or unclear. Love, Work-life balance…
Another really interesting thing to notice in this clip is that advanced English speakers can and do have to stop and search for their words.
Did you hear the words: “kind of” and “almost”? These words are ways of comparing a word to something else–even if the meaning is not exact.
And what about saying something is “gut?” or a “gut instinct?” This means you know it in your belly or stomach!! It gives the idea that you have a feeling or intuition about something–and that you can’t understand it. Or that you don’t have words to explain it!
All of these expressions show that it’s not so easy to explain why we trust someone enough to want to join a conversation!
As you can see–building trust in order to create great conversations is a soft skill!
Like any soft skill, the fact that it’s hard to explain how it’s done also makes it seem like it might be impossible to improve that skill.
And it means that being able to build trust (so people feel confident having conversations) is really valuable.
You’re serious about improving your English and your business skills. And I’m serious about helping you do that. That’s why I hold workshops every month on business skills you need. Want your exclusive monthly invitation? It’s easy. Just sign up for my newsletter.
3. What to look for in a high-trust English conversation practice:
Brown talks about using the “BRAVING” technique. It’s a way of looking at trust that can help you find a great English conversation practice–or just have better business conversations.
There are 7 key elements for building trust in conversations according to Brown.
Boundaries
Reliability
Accountability
Vault (Confidentiality)
Integrity
Nonjudgment
Generosity
We could talk about using any of the items on this list for a long time.
But we’ll focus on 3 that are too important to skip if you want to be comfortable enough to speak in your English conversation practice.
First, boundaries–that means there are rules and you feel safe in the conversation. In the conversation club, I developed, my team and I make sure everyone knows the rules, that it’s important to take turns, for example, and support others.
Reliability is something else that will boost your confidence. Look for a conversation club where you know what is going to happen. Maybe with a weekly schedule, set topics and a structure to the conversation. That way, you’re more comfortable expressing yourself and improvising–when it’s time.
Finally, one of the most important ways my team and I work Brown’s “BRAVING” framework is non-judgment.
If you want to be comfortable enough to join the conversation you need to know no one is judging you. It’s ok to stop and search for a word, ask for help, or have a moment where you don’t understand. Make sure you surround yourself with people who know that you have to be brave enough to show up and make mistakes. It’s not easy, but it’s important. I know because I run my business in France.
Also check out my lesson: 5 Tips to Speak English Confidently.
4. Where can you find a conversation practice where you’ll feel confident?
Now you know why trust matters for great conversations. And if you’re looking for English conversation practice where you will feel comfortable speaking up, I’ve got a surprise for you. You can join me for a free practice session of the conversation club I run.
I’m holding one on January 25th. To join me, sign up to my newsletter and watch for your exclusive invitation so you can book your spot.
Take the next step for your English and your Business:
QUIZ YOURSELF ON TODAY’S LESSON
Match the phrases in the two lists to make sentences that are true about conversation practice and trust.
#1 If you want to have a great conversation practice,
#2 And trust is an important part of feeling
#3 What can help you trust the person you’re speaking with?
A) confident when you speak.
B) you’re going to need to feel safe and confident with the people you’re speaking to.
C) Clear boundaries, reliability and non-judement are a few key qualities that create trust, and more confidence when you’re speaking.
Improve your English in the comments:
The best way to become more confident using Business English is to practice!
Here’s your Confidence Challenge for this week:
- In the comments, tell us one thing that makes you feel comfortable speaking in conversations?
Further reading for professionals in English
Curious to learn more about the topic of the day? I’ve selected this excellent resource for you. It helps native speakers create trust so they can increase confidence in conversations.
Don’t miss my next free, interactive workshop.
You’re serious about improving your English and your business skills. And I’m serious about helping you do that. That’s why I hold workshops every month on business skills you need. Want your exclusive monthly invitation? It’s easy. Just sign up for my newsletter.
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