Navigating the subtleties of American small talk may seem intimidating if English isn’t your native language.
Yes, it takes practice. But anyone can do this, if you’re willing to go out of your comfort zone, learn this skill (which is like any other business skill you had to learn to do your job well!) and of course, practice.
As an expert coach with 19 years of experience helping professionals work effectively with Americans in English, I’ve put together these actionable insights to make your journey easier.
And you’ll start to see that yes, you CAN master this social art form.
And even better, it will help you build your network, advance your career or grow your business, and open doors to some fabulous opportunities that you couldn’t get otherwise.
Do you struggle with networking & small talk in English?
You’re serious about improving your English and your business skills. And I’m serious about helping you do that.
Networking and small talk is a big part of creating successful business relationships (We’ll explore this in more detail in the article below!)
You can also start improving your small talk & networking skills today, with these complementary resources.
Now, let’s look at my tips & insights to help you master American Small Talk.
Index:
1. Recognize the Role of Small Talk in American Culture
2. Know the expected topics for small talk
3. Avoid Taboo Topics in Small Talk
4. Master the Art of Starting and Ending Conversations
1. Recognize the Role of Small Talk in American Culture
In the U.S., small talk is not just an idle chat but a critical communication tool. It’s a way to build connections, create a positive atmosphere, and pave the way for more serious discussions. Understanding this societal norm will help you integrate better into American culture.
Consider a typical business setting where negotiations kick off with light-hearted banter about the local sports team’s performance or comments about the weather. It’s a way to establish rapport before delving into the actual business matters. Thus, mastering small talk is akin to unlocking the door to successful professional interactions.
2. Know the expected topics for small talk
Small talk is not meant to be a deep, intellectual discussion. It’s a way to make a connection with the other person, to enjoy a pleasant moment of polite exchanges, and to eventually open the path to more interesting discussions where you can talk about things that are interesting and useful.
But before you talk about the deeper subjects, or the potential business opportunities you might have together, you have to break the ice with some acceptable “safe” topics.
Choosing the right topic can make a significant difference in your small talk experience .
Here are some reliable topics that can help you start a conversation confidently:
Weather
It’s THE universal ice breaker. Try saying, “Isn’t it a beautiful day?” or “Looks like we’re in for some rain!” Again, the goal here is JUST to break the ice. Not discuss the week’s weather forecast.
Sports
Discussing a local sports event can be a great choice. A question like, “Did you catch last night’s football game?” can spark a conversation. And of course, if you’re talking to an American, “football” means “American football”, and not “soccer”.
And even if you don’t understand much about American football (like me!), that’s ok! In fact, it’s a great subject for conversation. You can ask your American contact to explain the basic rules to you! For example, “I’ll be honest, I don’t understand how American football works. We don’t really have it in my country. But I want to understand! What are the basics that I should know?”
Travel
You can ask about their favorite vacation destinations or share yours. “Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon / New York City / Florida / etc.?” can initiate a great discussion.
And be prepared to share some places that you have visited in the United States, or to talk about some of your favorite travel destinations in your own country.
Local Events and Festivals
Talking about future community events can be a good option, if you are both in the same city or area.
“Are you going to the summer festival downtown?” is an excellent example.
Current events and news
Being updated on current events and trends will also give you plenty of conversation starters.
But if you’re going to talk about current events, be careful how you approach the subject, as it can be touchy, depending on what’s happening in the news at the moment.
Speaking of touchy topics…
3. Avoid Taboo Topics in Small Talk
Yes, it’s good to know what topics are expected in small talk. But it’s equally important to know what topics make people uncomfortable.
This means that you should generally avoid these topics, until you know the person better.
For example, please don’t start a conversation with “So what do you think of Donald Trump?”
I’ve had so many people do that when they learn that I’m American!
Yes, it’s an interesting topic of discussion. And I understand that you want to know what your American contact thinks about Trump (or any other controversial, divisive topic).
But that is NOT a good way to build rapport with someone when you meet them for the 1st time.
These are the subjects that are generally considered sensitive or controversial:
Politics:
Political views create strong emotions and the topic should be avoided, especially in professional settings.
Religion:
Religious beliefs can be a very personal matter too. And it touches on people’s values and identity. So it’s best to avoid this topic in small talk to avoid creating conflict and disagreement.
Personal Finances:
Despite what you may read in some articles, it is NOT ok to ask your American contact “How much money do you make?”
Yes, Americans are generally more comfortable talking about money than other nationalities. But that doesn’t mean they are happy to share their salary with someone they don’t know well.
It’s considered impolite to ask about someone’s income or financial situation, so it’s best to avoid this topic.
Health Issues:
Unless the person shares it with you, it’s best not to ask questions about their health.
Likewise, it is rude to comment on someone’s weight or physical appearance. It’s also rude to say things like “You look tired,” or “Did you have a difficult night?”
Personal situation:
While family and kids are a popular topic of conversation, it’s best to wait until the other person introduces the topics into the conversation before you ask about them.
For example, it can be risky to ask the question “Do you have children?”
Maybe they want children but cannot have them. Maybe they had a child who died. Maybe they do not want kids and do not wish to feel like they must justify this choice.
But if someone mentions their kids in a conversation, it’s totally ok to ask more questions about them (and this could be something you have in common, so it’s a great conversation topic in that case!)
Here’s an example conversation:
Sylvain: What are you doing this weekend?
Janeen: Oh, I’m taking my daughter and her friends to a concert. Taylor Swift, to be exact. She’s a huge fan!
Sylvain: Sounds like fun! How old is your daughter?
Janeen: 14. Right at that age for the Taylor Swift fan club!
Sylvain: I know what you mean, my daughter is a fan too! She’s 15.
4. Master the Art of Starting and Ending Conversations
Starting a conversation doesn’t have to be complicated.
A simple greeting, a compliment, or a comment on the environment is perfect for breaking the ice and starting the conversation.
It can be as simple as: “Nice tie! Where did you get it?” or “This conference room has a fantastic view!”
Again, the goal here is not to talk about something deeply interesting. It’s simply to invite the other person into a conversation with you.
Concluding a conversation can be just as simple.
Here’s a sample script for this strategy:
Janeen: Hi, I couldn’t help but notice your tie. It’s really nice, where did you get it?
Sylvain: Thanks! I got it on a trip to Italy.
Janeen: Wow, Italy! My dream is to go to Rome and Florence one day! Listen, I’d love to hear more about your trip, but I have to go to a meeting now. Can we continue this conversation during lunch?
Sylvain: Sure, I’d like that. Where do you want to meet?
As you see, you can gracefully exit a conversation with phrases like: “I have to catch a meeting now, but let’s continue this chat later,” or “I’ve enjoyed our conversation. Let’s do this again sometime.”
And if you truly want to continue the conversation later, you can exchange business cards or contact information.
And if you don’t really want to continue the conversation, that’s ok too.
There is an unspoken rule in American culture that phrases like “Let’s do this again sometime” are just a polite way to conclude a conversation.
If you say it, and don’t offer a way to continue the conversation later, your American contact will understand.
Conclusion
Remember, the goal of small talk is to create connections and to discover if it’s interesting to continue the conversation with the other person, to talk about topics that are actually interesting.
But at the beginning, it’s best to start with easy, safe topics. And with these tips, you’ll be well on your way to mastering the art of American small talk.
Practice is key – the more you practice, the better you’ll become. And the easier it will feel for you.
Don’t be discouraged by initial mistakes; they’re part of the learning process.
You’ll soon find that successful small talk can open many doors in both your professional and personal life.
As always, I’m here to guide you through your journey.
Good luck, and enjoy your small talk adventures… wherever they take you!
Take the next step for your English and your Business!
The best way to become comfortable in conversations and small talk? To practice!
That’s why I’ve created a special package offer that helps you master the art of small talk with Americans, step by step, and get the speaking practice you need to feel comfortable in conversations.
